Psychoanalysis: The Talking Cure

At times we can find ourselves thinking these or similar thoughts. Some people seem to have it all figured out. They have a perfect job, the perfect relationship, the perfect body, and always seem happy. They might be. Looks can be deceiving. Whatever the case, there is always a way in which your life could be better. Perhaps some underlying behaviour has put you on a path that you weren't expecting. Perhaps you're not on a path at all and wish you were. We are ALWAYS on some sort of path, even if it feels like we're not.

The key is to understand whether we can do better or how we can resolve blockages on our life path. One way to do this is through the much misunderstood realm of psychoanalysis.

What exactly IS psychoanalysis?

Many have called it "the talking cure". The reason is that the client does almost all of the talking and the therapist says very little. Perhaps for minutes at a time. This can be disconcerting for some. They may walking into a psychologist or counsellors office and expect the therapist to tell them where they're going wrong and how to fix it.

That's not always the best approach. Why?

Because in some ways you're ceding your power to another.

Perhaps what is needed is for you to find the source of your issue and to own it, to use the modern vernacular.

No matter how wise the therapist is, nor how experienced or qualified, sometimes YOU need to be the one to find the way through your mind's pathways to the solution you need. This can often be very powerful. It helps you also to own it and be convinced that you have the ability to bring yourself out of situations if you ever need to, and no-one is there for you.

This doesn't mean talking with others - not just professionals but also with family or friends - isn't powerful, valuable and effective. The problem with these sorts of scenarios - at least with family and friends anyway - is that you may not be willing to be truly vulnerable and dive right into where the pain is, and the perhaps embarrassing (to you?) circumstances that led you there.

Case study: how this can work

Let me describe what this is like with a case study based on a real session I had with a client.

Client has mother issues, and needs therapy for numerous things relating to confidence, sex and social situations. The client walks into therapy without knowing what the therapist is planning or how they will approach the session.

The therapist begins with the famous line "So... tell me what's happening..."

Client begins to describe it. talks about family. Work. Friends. Pastimes. For maybe five minutes. Therapist says not a single word.

The whole time, the therapist is giving them their undivided attention, and is focussing on what they are saying and how they are saying it.

Client gets to a pause and looks at the therapist. No verbal response. Client decides to start analysing the problem themselves.

"So... I think I'm doing X because every time my mother does Y I feel [random feeling]... why do I also feel that way?  Maybe it's because of.... [some previous life event]... yeah, maybe that's it?"

Client continues in this vein and eventually the therapist speaks up. Now the therapist has been "holding space" this whole time, but also listening closely.

"So..." says the therapist. Client is relieved. At least they're getting SOME value for their money!

"So..." he/she continues. "That [previous life event] was hell wasn't it? You've been talking around it and playing it down and being too kind to yourself, but it was hell, wasn't it?"

Tears start flowing from the client. It was hell and they NEVER acknowledged it in that way.

Therapist stays silent. Eventually the client now talks about the pain they went through and this is where the healing begins. With more interjections and even summaries from the therapist, at the appropriate points.

It's so powerful.  Yes, I have experienced it myself, and of course used it with my clients. I recommend it highly,

Isn't psychoanalysis just a Freud method that is way outdated?

Modern psychoanalysis is different and more evolved than when it was created by Sigmund Freud in the late 1800s. Freud believed that knowledge was curative. Once you dive down into the subconscious - or unconscious as he used to refer to it - and find the root cause of the problem, then you can deal with it.

Modern psychoanalysis incorporates more healing into the process and more involvement from the therapist. In my example above I described the intervention of the therapist at a critical point to correct the maladaptive thinking of the client. In that way, their insight allows the client to see something they are not aware of.

Yes, that event was likely the cause of their current issues but they weren't seeing it in the correct light in order to generate real change in their lives.

It's a highly powerful process. Freud was a major part of my psychology training and I still revere him to this day, for a reason.  

Feel free to send me a message and ask me more  about psychoanalysis if you'd like to try it.